Leaving a Religion
Back in 2002, I officially left a very, very large organized religion that I belonged to. It was a religion that I had devoted my entire life to (literally). Why did I leave? Well, for one thing I found out it was based on lies (after months of very careful research), but that's a whole other subject. After finding out that I'd been lied to for many years, I went through some huge life changes and suffered immense pain trying to get over my "betrayal". I was confused about who "God" is, or even "what" God is. I spent many months doing some deep soul searching. This journey, as painful as it was, become very delicious as time went on, and it led me to my most profound realization in life...which is this:
I am loved purely, wholly, deeply, sweetly, unconditionally, no matter what I am or what I do....
Back in 2002, I officially left a very, very large organized religion that I belonged to. It was a religion that I had devoted my entire life to (literally). Why did I leave? Well, for one thing I found out it was based on lies (after months of very careful research), but that's a whole other subject. After finding out that I'd been lied to for many years, I went through some huge life changes and suffered immense pain trying to get over my "betrayal". I was confused about who "God" is, or even "what" God is. I spent many months doing some deep soul searching. This journey, as painful as it was, become very delicious as time went on, and it led me to my most profound realization in life...which is this:
I am loved purely, wholly, deeply, sweetly, unconditionally, no matter what I am or what I do....
JUST AS I AM.
I don't have to be "righteous"....it wouldn't matter if I was gay....it wouldn't matter what color I am....it wouldn't matter if I was pretty or ugly....it wouldn't matter if I was sloppy or neat....nothing matters except for that I just AM. I let go of a judgmental, control-freak, fear-inducing, guilt-producing, finger pointing, "mean father" God that had a list of endless rules that I could in no way keep up with, understand or obey. I embraced a higher power...a higher God - whatever that higher power is....that loves me so perfectly that it is beyond my mortal comprehension. When that happened, my friends, I woke up. That is what I called being "born again" so to speak. And when I felt that feeling, I realized that I matter very, very much. I find all of this so incredibly yummy! So....those who know me, know "I felt a poem coming on". The words flowed thusly:
Leaving a Religion
"Open your eyes and wake up, honey."
That's what God said to me one day.
"But I don't want to get up and go to school!
Let me sleep a little longer."
God leaned silently against the door of my soul,
and he grinned while waiting patiently.
He didn't hit the snooze button ~
he just let the Light wake me up.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes
and sat up in bed to look out the window.
Much to my delight,
I saw that it was a good day for planting.
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